So my friend calls me and we start chatting. She tells me of the date she went on with a guy. I asked how it was...she sad that the guy was mean. Now, my friend is a very sweet girl, so upon hearing this I was instantly angry at the guy. How dare he be mean to this lovely flower. How dare he! Angered, I asked her.
"How was he mean? What did he say?"
As soon as she started her answer, I knew it was her fault! Yep, I said it! She made a common girl mistake. Oh wait...here's how she started her answer.
"Well, we were cracking jokes on each other, but he went too far."
Now, I know many are asking 'how is it her fault?'. Let me explain before you explode. Here's what I KNOW happened.
They go on a nice date. He pulls the chair out for her, they both sit down and look over the menu. She orders wine, he orders beer (makes him appear more manly). She orders a nice pasta (safe, yet filling). He orders steak (he is paying after all, let him eat!!). As they wait for the food, they engage in conversation. This is where the date goes wrong. Remember people, if you want to have a good date, don't say anything!! Just keep your mouth shut, and pay for everything! The key to a successful relationship is knowing when to stfu (google it!!)!
Here's the failure of the date...she wants to test him. She'll say something witty yet slightly mean, to see how he responds. Afterall, a woman wants a man who is sharp on his feet. A man who she can't walk all over. A man whose words can make her laugh, and make others cry. So she'll give a compliment to his jacket...but comment on too much gel on his hair. He'll laugh and even add to the fun by making fun of his own jacket!! Ladies, that means that he likes you!! That means you shouldn't further test him!! But of course....you do.
She'll laugh...keep talking...then throw in a comment about him ordering the steak and needing to watch his weight. He'll laugh...but heres where it gets bad. He'll laugh, then throw in a comment about the carbs in her pasta...of course he'll quickly apologize (because he's only joking!!). But too late. She'll see it as flirting (or being mean) and want to push the envelope...completely forgetting that guys are competitive and love to win. Even in a joking contest.
So they'll go back and forth with the jokes (still all in-good fun), until she says something about him that he doesn't think is that funny...thats when he calls her a fat bitch! Stands up, and throws his drink in her face! Kidding. Just kidding. But he'll eventually say something that is hurtful. She'll pretend it doesn't faze her. Get through the rest of the date, then call her friend to talk about the jerk she went out with. He wasn't a jerk. He was a guy. No, its not an excuse...its not!! Its the truth.
Guys are accustomed to joking and ribbing their guy friends. Accustomed to seeing who can be meaner and funnier and going to great lengths to win. So when a girl starts treating him like one of the guys would...well, he tends to start treating her like one of the guys too. Now, I know what you're saying. Thats its an excuse. Well, look at it this way. Lets say you meet a really cute guy that you like. First date, you two went shoe shopping...no kiss. Second date, a day spa (I LOVE these!!). You two get a manicure and pedicure..no kiss. Third date...hell, it almost doesn't matter, at this point he's in the friend zone. Hell, lets say its the FIRST date. You're both in a restaurant and all you two talk about are your ex's, shoes and which color you should paint your toes.
Just like guys can fall into the "friend zone" based on their actions, or inactions, so can women. So don't treat him like one of his guy friends would...at least not on the first date. Now, you're asking, how will you know if you're doing that. Well, how many second dates have you been on? Yeah...I though so.
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