My 2007 New Years Resolutions

I know its old, but I wanted to share.

So I have some New Years Resolutions. My main one last year was to be nicer to people and not call fat people fat.....that didn't last long. But this year will be different!! Fabian's top 5 New Years Resolutions (No, I can't believe that I'm actually writing this either....I should put: Stop being a nerd on the list huh? If you said yes, then you should put: Stop being mean and calling Fabian a nerd on YOUR list!!...wait where was I? Um..am I still writing this inbetween a parenthesis?)

5:MAKE MORE MONEY!! (Money is my first love, acutally I have a story about how I swallowed a coin when I was still back in Nigeria...know what? Its not that interesting when I think about it...hmm...Anyways, some may say that I have too much (CHRIS!!!!), but hey, you can never have too much!!!)

4:Be Nicer to people (Ok, so I realized that being nice doesn't mean that I have to care, it just means that I have to PRETEND that I care. I used to take acting classes, I'm sure I can pull it off.)

3:Stop Being a NERD!!! (This won't happen. Why? Well, women tend to find my quirkyness quite charming. Yeah, I don't get it either. Look at it this way, with all my great qualities (looks, charm, wit, brains, etc...), I need something that makes me seem approachable to women.

2:Learn Magic!! (So I'm a huge Harry Potter fan...sue me!! But seriously, I figure that learning magic will improve my overall lifestyle. I mean....its MAGIC!! Hmm...maybe I should be looking to resolution number 3....yeah, ok, I'll create a new number 2...but I'm NOT deleting this one, I already used so much energy typing it out...yes, I'm lazy!!)

2 (again):Open up my heart (Bet you didn't see this one coming. All jokes aside, I've been really cold and mean to most of the girls I've met and dated these last two years. I'd risk many things: my life (have you seen me drive? I'm a bit....reckless), my car (notice I have a one track mind) , etc...you know what I mean...but never my heart. I've never really "put myself out there" Hell, I consider telling a gril I enjoy spending time with her "putting myself out there". But this year, I'm gonna throw my caution and cynicism to the wind. I'm gonna start wearing my heart on my sleeve, it may hurt, but I'd rather feel the pain from a broken heart, than the comfort of a love never spoken....wow....that was good, I gotta use that!!! I really should be a writer....DAMN!! Seroiusly, thats beautiful....I think I meant it too...hmm...go figure...)

1:Be inspired, and try to inspire others!! (Yeah, you prob didn't see this one coming either. So yeah, all my cockyness and sarcasm aside I do see myself as a blessed individual. Hell, we all are compared to many in this world. As every new year turns, it really is up to us, the more fortunate (family, friends, food, housing, etc...) to help and inspire those whose situation may not be as kind to them as ours is to us. There are many charitable organizations out there that are always looking for help. It doesn't have to be money either. It could be spending time with an orphan or reading to the elderly. I'm not kidding about this either. In this new year, we shouldn't waste our gifts on our own happiness. We should share it with the world. Be inspired, and try to inspire others.)

Ask Me: Hate and Late

Anxious in Nebraska:
Yo FD, I need some advice. I met a girl at the club yesterday, and got her number. I want to call her, but I know that I'm supposed to wait two days. So my question is: Can you call a girl before the two day rule?

FD:
Is this a serious question? Really? Um...ok...first off, are you 12? If not, then call the girl. But if you are a child, then please follow the two day rule and pretend that you're not interested in the girl. I know that guys are afraid to look desperate, but those fears are unfounded. If a girl thinks you're desperate for wanting to talk more and see her again, then she has emotional issues. Most girls will think that you're just interested. Hell, I've called girls one hour later and met for ice cream...what...don't judge me....she thought it was cute.

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Hating Him in California:
I hate my ex-boyfriend. That bastard cheated on me and broke my heart. I've tried to get over the pain, but I just can't seem to. I think that revenge is my only option to be able to get over this pain. What should I do?

FD:
Revenge fixes nothing. It'll only make you feel empty inside. Remember, success is the best form of revenge. If you want him to suffer, then succeed in life. When he sees, or hears of your success, he'll feel the fool for letting you get away. Trust me, that knowledge will haunt him forever. You really need to move on...but if you can't, then slash his tires, and give hi herpes. He'll hate you forever. Cheers.