Unsure in Oregon:
Dear Fabian Donovan, I need your help. I go on dates with girls, but never close the deal. I mean, whats so bad abotu dinner and a movie? Its classic, but afterwards they just call it a night. What should I do? How can I get out of this rut?
FD:
Well first of let me just say this...you're an idiot. Dinner and a movie? Dinner..and a freaking movie?!? How old are you 50? Dinner and a movie is what people did before dance clubs we invented. If you want to "close the deal", then take your dates out for dancing and drinks. Statistics show that you're 60% more likely to score after a night of drinks and dance, than you are after dinner and a movie....seriously, dinner and a movie? Stop taking dating advice from your grandpa!!
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Nerd in Ohio:
Fabian you've gotta help me. I'm 23 years old, but I still get shy around women. What should I do?
FB:
Hmm...23 years old and you still get shy around women...well, maybe you're just not cut out for dating women. My advice, switch to men.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
How to show a guy you don't like him, especially when you do
True Story!!
I love my friends, I truly do. When I call someone friend, they are like family to me. I'd do anything (almost...I mean there is the law and all), to help them. But the reason I love my friends is because they are a reflection of a part of me. Some of my friends are saccharin sweet, while others are...well...crazy. But that’s ok, because I'm all those things (hold your comments). But every now and then my friends surprise me...not with what they do...but how they date.
Setup: So I'm hanging out with one of my really close friends. She tells me that she has a guy problem. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to break some knees, she says no...It’s dating related. Now, for those that don't know, here’s a secret, I'm a dating guru, sorry I meant to say GURU!! I know how women think, and I know how guys think. If you EVER need help, just call, text, email, smoke sign, messenger pigeon me. So what’s the prob I ask....
The Problem: She and this guy went on a date. They had a lot of fun, and even kissed at the end. (Guys, if a girl tells you she doesn't kiss on the first date...she only means she doesn't kiss YOU on the first date!). Now, here’s where all the weirdness begins (seriously people…learn to date).The next day, she goes to the library awaiting a study group and sees him there talking to a girl (prob just a friend), she…get this…IGNORES HIM and goes off to the far side of the building. So while she’s there, playing it cool, her professor walks up to her and starts talking. Thinking that he might notice her there, she ends the convo and runs inside to library to hide at its entrance(don’t ask me why she’s acting crazy, just understand that she is). If that weren’t bad enough the guy walks inside the entrance and sees her hiding there…LOL!!!...Ladies, never hide…unless you don’t like him.
They shared an awkward moment (don’t you love those? Yeah, me neither). But the guy likes her so, he texts her two days later (yeah, the two day rule...LAME!!) and invites her to a bbq at his house. She says that she can go, but at the last minute she has to cancel because of previous plans. Girls, unless your family is dying, don’t cancel at the last minute...unless you don’t like him. But to make up for her cancellation, she makes the worst mistake a girl can make…she invites him to hang out with her friends!!
This is the one rule about dating you must ALL learn, guys and girls…gather ‘round. Girls, if a guy invites you to hang with his friends, it’s because he likes you. He’s afraid he can’t be funny and natural around you, and wants to play of the energy of his friends to show that he’s cool. Now, girls might be thinking the same thing when they invite a guy to hang, but that’s not how guys see it. A guy sees this: “She wants me to hang out with her and her friends? WTF!! I’m in the friend zone!! She doesn’t like me! NOOOO!!! BANG!!” (he just shot himself). Why do we see it like this? Simple. If her friends are all guys, well then I’m in the friend zone or at least very uncomfortable (she might be a hoe!!). If they’re all girls, well then I’m in the friend zone or in the gay friend zone. Either way, unless you’ve been seeing each other for a while, ladies, do not invite a guy to hang with your friends…unless you don’t like him.
He couldn’t go (that’s just what he said...he didn’t want to go). One week later he invites her over for some hot tubing. He says they’ll be some friends over so is way casual. She accepts and shows up at his door with one of her friends (girl). She walks in to find that it’s only the guy, his roommate and his roommates girlfriend…yep a double date. So she brought a friend on a date….how awesome….wait what?...not that kind of friend or date...LAME!!
Girls…when a guy asks you out, DON’T BRING A FRIEND!!! It doesn’t matter what it is you’re doing, never bring a friend….unless you’re afraid of the guy, then you prob shouldn’t be on the date…or if you don’t like the guy
They had fun. Met again (randomly…seriously wtf?!?) at a pub, saw a movie. Made plans. She cancelled (yes again…her fam was in town…LOL!!). She texts him to hang, he says he has to study. Infact, she texts him a sweet line...he answers the text, but ignores the line. She gets mad at him…says that she “put her self out there”…(WTF!! What do you think he’s been doing!!!! Ladies, guys are ALWAYS texting sweet lines and getting nothing. You send one sweet line, it gets ignored and you’re upset…ok)
So finally, they meet at a softball game….she chats for like 1 min…and bolts!! In fairness, she had somewhere to be. So a week or so goes by….she calls him and says what’s up. Asks how come he hasn’t called her…he says…wait for it…wait for it…”You’re not interested in me. You’re always busy and you never call me.”
Conclusion: “So Fabian, why would he say that?”, she asks me….I look at her with complete bewilderment...then answer “Um…because you don’t like him? You act shady, don’t call, and never initiate contact, only responses”. “But…but…I sent him a sweet line…I put myself out there”, she answers….(women and men truly are from different planets)
Moral of the story: Ladies- Do NOT invite a guy to hang with your friends, do not cancel on him at the last minute, please respond to his messages and, for the love of god, INITIATE!! Yes, I know you’re busy…funny thing is, so is everybody else.
Help: I gave her advice. She called him, they chatted. They’re going out this weekend. They'll prob name their first daughter Fabiana or something. Good job Fabian….good job
I love my friends, I truly do. When I call someone friend, they are like family to me. I'd do anything (almost...I mean there is the law and all), to help them. But the reason I love my friends is because they are a reflection of a part of me. Some of my friends are saccharin sweet, while others are...well...crazy. But that’s ok, because I'm all those things (hold your comments). But every now and then my friends surprise me...not with what they do...but how they date.
Setup: So I'm hanging out with one of my really close friends. She tells me that she has a guy problem. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to break some knees, she says no...It’s dating related. Now, for those that don't know, here’s a secret, I'm a dating guru, sorry I meant to say GURU!! I know how women think, and I know how guys think. If you EVER need help, just call, text, email, smoke sign, messenger pigeon me. So what’s the prob I ask....
The Problem: She and this guy went on a date. They had a lot of fun, and even kissed at the end. (Guys, if a girl tells you she doesn't kiss on the first date...she only means she doesn't kiss YOU on the first date!). Now, here’s where all the weirdness begins (seriously people…learn to date).The next day, she goes to the library awaiting a study group and sees him there talking to a girl (prob just a friend), she…get this…IGNORES HIM and goes off to the far side of the building. So while she’s there, playing it cool, her professor walks up to her and starts talking. Thinking that he might notice her there, she ends the convo and runs inside to library to hide at its entrance(don’t ask me why she’s acting crazy, just understand that she is). If that weren’t bad enough the guy walks inside the entrance and sees her hiding there…LOL!!!...Ladies, never hide…unless you don’t like him.
They shared an awkward moment (don’t you love those? Yeah, me neither). But the guy likes her so, he texts her two days later (yeah, the two day rule...LAME!!) and invites her to a bbq at his house. She says that she can go, but at the last minute she has to cancel because of previous plans. Girls, unless your family is dying, don’t cancel at the last minute...unless you don’t like him. But to make up for her cancellation, she makes the worst mistake a girl can make…she invites him to hang out with her friends!!
This is the one rule about dating you must ALL learn, guys and girls…gather ‘round. Girls, if a guy invites you to hang with his friends, it’s because he likes you. He’s afraid he can’t be funny and natural around you, and wants to play of the energy of his friends to show that he’s cool. Now, girls might be thinking the same thing when they invite a guy to hang, but that’s not how guys see it. A guy sees this: “She wants me to hang out with her and her friends? WTF!! I’m in the friend zone!! She doesn’t like me! NOOOO!!! BANG!!” (he just shot himself). Why do we see it like this? Simple. If her friends are all guys, well then I’m in the friend zone or at least very uncomfortable (she might be a hoe!!). If they’re all girls, well then I’m in the friend zone or in the gay friend zone. Either way, unless you’ve been seeing each other for a while, ladies, do not invite a guy to hang with your friends…unless you don’t like him.
He couldn’t go (that’s just what he said...he didn’t want to go). One week later he invites her over for some hot tubing. He says they’ll be some friends over so is way casual. She accepts and shows up at his door with one of her friends (girl). She walks in to find that it’s only the guy, his roommate and his roommates girlfriend…yep a double date. So she brought a friend on a date….how awesome….wait what?...not that kind of friend or date...LAME!!
Girls…when a guy asks you out, DON’T BRING A FRIEND!!! It doesn’t matter what it is you’re doing, never bring a friend….unless you’re afraid of the guy, then you prob shouldn’t be on the date…or if you don’t like the guy
They had fun. Met again (randomly…seriously wtf?!?) at a pub, saw a movie. Made plans. She cancelled (yes again…her fam was in town…LOL!!). She texts him to hang, he says he has to study. Infact, she texts him a sweet line...he answers the text, but ignores the line. She gets mad at him…says that she “put her self out there”…(WTF!! What do you think he’s been doing!!!! Ladies, guys are ALWAYS texting sweet lines and getting nothing. You send one sweet line, it gets ignored and you’re upset…ok)
So finally, they meet at a softball game….she chats for like 1 min…and bolts!! In fairness, she had somewhere to be. So a week or so goes by….she calls him and says what’s up. Asks how come he hasn’t called her…he says…wait for it…wait for it…”You’re not interested in me. You’re always busy and you never call me.”
Conclusion: “So Fabian, why would he say that?”, she asks me….I look at her with complete bewilderment...then answer “Um…because you don’t like him? You act shady, don’t call, and never initiate contact, only responses”. “But…but…I sent him a sweet line…I put myself out there”, she answers….(women and men truly are from different planets)
Moral of the story: Ladies- Do NOT invite a guy to hang with your friends, do not cancel on him at the last minute, please respond to his messages and, for the love of god, INITIATE!! Yes, I know you’re busy…funny thing is, so is everybody else.
Help: I gave her advice. She called him, they chatted. They’re going out this weekend. They'll prob name their first daughter Fabiana or something. Good job Fabian….good job
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