So I was hanging out with my friends over the weekend, and she tells me a story of her ex boyfriend. Well, this story was so freaking good, that I HAD to share it with the world. So here it is, tales from my friends: Trapped in the Closet.
So its her sophomore year in college and she's dating a senior who is soon to graduate. She's going through some tough family issues and he...um...hates his job. No seriously, that's what he'd talk about. She wanted to share her feelings and sadness about her family, and he wanted to talk about how much he hates his job. Guys like this make me look bad.
Time for a break up. Now, I've heard that breakups are hard...but I'm attractive and have never been dumped so I don't really know. But the one thing I do know, is that women don't take rejection well...but that's a different story. Now her friends had been telling her for months to break it off with him, but she's notorious for not taking good advice. She waits until he graduates and moves back home to his parents. Then she calls and ends it...still not as bad as doing it over email.
Now here is where it gets...um...disturbing. So the summer goes by, and the new school year starts. Yay? Oh, and there's a big school football game that weekend too. Everyone is going to be there...everyone.
Her and her roommate come home to her apartment...the door is open. They cautiously walk inside. They hear a noise...its coming from her bedroom. Now, instead of running out screaming and calling the police, they decide to "see where the noise is coming from". Obviously they don't watch horror movies. As her roommate and her approach the door to her bedroom, they notice that it is slight ajar. They walk inside...the noise is louder. Their eyes quickly dart around the room in hopes of finding the source of that noise...the closet.
The door to the closet is closed, but they know that the noise is coming from the other side of it. They walk closer, hand in hand...um...they're not those kind of roommates...I don't think...anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, so they walk up to the closet door. Take a deep breath and prepare their minds for the worse. Grab the handle, and yank the door open....
The sight that they laid their eyes upon, was worse than anything they could ever imagine. The horror that they saw still haunts me, yes me, till this very day. Sitting at the bottom of her closet was her now ex boyfriend. He was looking through and old photo album that she made of them...and he was crying...loudly...weeping...Tears and snots flowed freely from hisred puffy face...Now, I'm all for sensitive men...but never, and I mean, NEVER of I heard of a man breaking into his ex-girlfriends apartment, to hide in the closet and cry...CRY!!!
With tears streaming down with face, and his voice catching in his throat, he looks up at her and says, "Why did we ever break up?".
Maybe its because he's crying like a castrated dog....maybe....
Moral of the story, if you want to woo a woman, don't break into her place, hide in her closet, look through old albums, and cry your eyes out...seriously, its not only unmanly, its down right whack!! Its disgusting....ewwww...
Time for a break up. Now, I've heard that breakups are hard...but I'm attractive and have never been dumped so I don't really know. But the one thing I do know, is that women don't take rejection well...but that's a different story. Now her friends had been telling her for months to break it off with him, but she's notorious for not taking good advice. She waits until he graduates and moves back home to his parents. Then she calls and ends it...still not as bad as doing it over email.
Now here is where it gets...um...disturbing. So the summer goes by, and the new school year starts. Yay? Oh, and there's a big school football game that weekend too. Everyone is going to be there...everyone.
Her and her roommate come home to her apartment...the door is open. They cautiously walk inside. They hear a noise...its coming from her bedroom. Now, instead of running out screaming and calling the police, they decide to "see where the noise is coming from". Obviously they don't watch horror movies. As her roommate and her approach the door to her bedroom, they notice that it is slight ajar. They walk inside...the noise is louder. Their eyes quickly dart around the room in hopes of finding the source of that noise...the closet.
The door to the closet is closed, but they know that the noise is coming from the other side of it. They walk closer, hand in hand...um...they're not those kind of roommates...I don't think...anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, so they walk up to the closet door. Take a deep breath and prepare their minds for the worse. Grab the handle, and yank the door open....
The sight that they laid their eyes upon, was worse than anything they could ever imagine. The horror that they saw still haunts me, yes me, till this very day. Sitting at the bottom of her closet was her now ex boyfriend. He was looking through and old photo album that she made of them...and he was crying...loudly...weeping...Tears and snots flowed freely from hisred puffy face...Now, I'm all for sensitive men...but never, and I mean, NEVER of I heard of a man breaking into his ex-girlfriends apartment, to hide in the closet and cry...CRY!!!
With tears streaming down with face, and his voice catching in his throat, he looks up at her and says, "Why did we ever break up?".
Maybe its because he's crying like a castrated dog....maybe....
Moral of the story, if you want to woo a woman, don't break into her place, hide in her closet, look through old albums, and cry your eyes out...seriously, its not only unmanly, its down right whack!! Its disgusting....ewwww...
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