Valentines for Singles

Ok, so although Valentines day has come and gone, its never too early to prepare for next years. Now I know what you're thinking, that just because you we single this year doesn't mean that you'll be single next year...but isn't that what you said last year? Isn't that what you said before you made your New Years Resolution to lose weight; I'm assuming you're single because of your weight. So lets be real, you were single this year, and you'll most likely be single next year. But that's ok, because until they cure blindness some woman out there might actually like you....but probably not. So until you drop that extra tire or get enough money to be a sugar daddy/mommy, here are some things to do next year for Valentines.

3.) On the Prowl - You're probably not the only one that single on Valentines, so why not go out and find other singles like you? No, not a restaurant, it'll be full of couples. Go somewhere that singles would hang out. A nice bar, or lounge. Yes, I know it'll be hard not to stay home and eat your weight in Ice Cream or play video games until you mom comes home. But remember....baby steps...baby steps. Go out and try to meet someone. Be witty, be funny...wait...that won't work. Why? Well, if you were witty and funny you probably wouldn't be single...hmmm..Oh I've got it. Bring money, and lots of it!! Buy everyone drinks and buy your way into their hearts. Remember, people love to befriend that fat funny guy...and who doesn't want another platonic relationship with someone beautiful...you? Yeah....probably have enough friends. Oh well.

2.) Singles Awareness Day - Now I'm actually surprised that more people don't do this. Listen, if you're single, you probably know a lot of other single people. So what not call them, get them to call their single friends, and get their single friends to call their single friends, and so on. Then you all get together at a friends house and celebrate Singles Awareness Day. Play twister, and various drinking and dancing games. After all that drinking and laughing and stripping (poker), you might be able to find someone you can connect with...and if you can't...well...try being attractive...trust me, it helps.

1.) Just Another Day - So you're single on yet another Valentines Day. Well, you should be used to it by now, so don't worry. Treat it as just another day. hang with your friends, or stay home and chill. It doesn't really matter as long as you're happy. All jokes aside, don't let all the advertising get to you and make you feel down. Why? Well because you will find that special someone, and when that happens, you'll realize that everyday is Valentines Day.

Yeah....I can be sweet and nice too. Anyways, so follow my advice and have a great Valentines day...next year. But seriously...be more attractive...you'll enjoy life more. Cheers.

Valentines for Couples

I didn't want to do this, I really didn't, but everyone begged me to, so here it is. After hearing about all the different "romantic" things couples did for each other for Valentines Day, I have concluded that "romance" is not only dead, but it has come back as a zombie and is feasting on "sweetness' and "thoughtfulness". But have no fear...Fabian Donovan is hear. So here's the top 3 ideas to do for next years Valentines Day (Couple's Edition). Oh, and don't worry, they don't cost a lot of money to pull off....cheap bastards.

3.) The Scenic View - After a long day at work she gets in, the whole house (or apt) is dark. The only light thats being emitted are the candles from the doorway to the couch (make sure you don't set the couch on fire...I hear thats a mood killer), where a box is waiting for her. Inside the box is a dress that she wanted (you've got to plan ahead on this one). With a note that says try it on. So she does. From the couch to the kitchen is a walkway of candles and Hershey Kisses. At the dinner table is a note that reads: "Now that I've kissed the ground you walk on, will you have dinner with me?" Yeah...thats cute. Cue the soft music, walk into the kitchen with a bottle of champagne, and enjoy the nice dinner that you prepared by hand. After dinner, you two follow the walkway of candles, candies and rose petals to the bathroom. Where you've prepared a bubble bath with rose petals on top...yeah, I know...hot. Sprinkle in some jewelry or a nice book as a gift and you've got yourself a memorable winner.

2.) Plan a Day - Why only celebrate at night, when you have a whole day? If you both have the day off, then it would be awesome...unfortunately you two broke bastards work for a living. Send flowers to her work for three days leading up to Valentines Day. A different bouquet each time. Then meet her for lunch on Valentines Day. It doesn't have to be a spectacular lunch, just something nice. Give her a poem you wrote specifically for her...yeah...cheesy, but the flowers would've put her in a cheesy mood. While she goes back into the office beaming from the food, flowers and lovely words, it'll make her co-workers jealous...which will only make her happier. Now, instead of going to a boring restaurant and looking at each other longingly from opposite sides of the table, why not go to a club or lounge. Drink, dance and have fun. Oh, um...for those who can't dance.....kill yourself. Anyways, this is a nice mix of romance and friendly fun which always leads to passion...yeah...I know.

1.) The Megaton - This should only be done if you truly, truly love the girl. If not, do something else. This...is...The Megaton. Send her flowers everyday of the week leading up to Valentines Day. A single rose the first day, then keep adding roses up until a full bouquet on the day of. Attached to the roses will be a riddle that can easily be deciphered. The riddle will send her on a short journey around the city to different shops to grab her gifts...but she will be driven around in a limo that you'll have waiting for her outside her place of work....yeah...pimp shit...The limo takes her home to get dressed. She walks into her place and find sees nothing but balloons, flowers, candies and teddy bears. Her jaw drops. Duh. She gets ready, heads back inside the limo, where you'll be waiting for her with a bottle of champagne( or fine wine). By this time shes overwhelmed....and you're probably broke. The limo drives you two to the highest or nicest restaurant in the city. You have a great dinner, then go salsa dancing (learn to salsa!!), then cap the night off back at hers and/or yours in a jacuzzi or rose petal covered bathtub. She should wake up to breakfast in bed the next morning.

Ok, so the last one is expensive. But doing any of these will make the girl love you forever and pray to have your children. But doing the last one is dangerous. Why? Because she WILL stalk you if you break up with her. The last one is the Megaton. Do it only if you want to propose, or want her to ride the tricycle with you. Cheers.